Why do we avoid pain at all costs?

I’m specifically talking about painful feelings.

First, it’s survival. Pain evolved to signal threats we need to evade.

Second, I think we were talked out of most of our feelings when we were young.

I am sure you heard some version of one of these from a parent or authority figure:

“You’re fine”
“Stiff upper lip”
“I’ll give you something to cry about”
“Get a grip”
“Suck it up”
And one of my favorites, “Mind over matter” (whatever that means)

They were doing the best they could, and remember that when our feelings make other people uncomfortable it really just means they want us to be OK.

But here’s another point of view, and maybe a controversial one: Emotional pain can’t kill you but running from it can.

Here’s why:

Suppressing our emotional responses has a physical effect, suggesting that emotional expression is better for your overall health and wellbeing.

We need to feel it to heal it. And between alcohol use, prescription drug use and screen time there is no shortage of ways to dissociate from your heart.

I don’t wish pain on anyone but it’s part of our lives; we all know the highs wouldn’t feel high if we didn’t also experience the lows.

If you’re not sure what it means to actually FEEL your feelings, don’t hesitate to reach out, you’re not meant to do this life alone.

Xx Lauren