For Many Years, My Anger Was Way Too Close to the Surface

And here’s the thing about anger: it’s really usually just a cover for other emotions, including fear, hurt, guilt and loss.

In my case, it was a way to protect myself from feeling vulnerable.

It’s not our fault. For many of us, expressing feelings of sadness or vulnerability didn’t feel safe in childhood, or they made those around us uncomfortable.

So subconsciously when we’re hurt we might shift that emotional or physical pain into anger. After all, anger provides a surge of energy and makes us feel powerful rather than helpless.

Here’s the problem with anger: It’s bad for both your mental and physical health!

The long-term physical effects of uncontrolled anger include increased anxiety, high blood pressure, headaches and potentially heart attacks.

So what do we do?

First, try thinking of anger like an iceberg. Most of an iceberg is hidden below the surface of the water. When we're angry, there are often other emotions hidden beneath the surface.

Here are a few examples of primary emotions that could be fueling your anger:

🛑 Fear
🛑 Anxiety
🛑 Worry
🛑 Hurt
🛑 Betrayal
🛑 Exhaustion

At the root of many angry feelings is just a sense of powerlessness. If you want to dig deeper, try:

✅ Sitting with the feelings to see what else comes up 
✅ Journaling
✅ Deep breaths
✅ Exercise- emotions often surface in movement 
✅ Take a cold shower
✅ Talk to a friend (or coach! Hi!)

Mostly, try to be compassionate–with yourself and others. We are ALL doing our best!

Xx Lauren